Friday, April 13th, 2007
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5:56 pm - Soooo..
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I met this girl and she's beautiful. I like kissing her whenever I get the chance.
Mmmmmm. Her name is Marie and she has the most beautiful body ever. Well defined hipbones and a stomach that I could probably never ever achieve.
OOOOOOOOOOOO....just thinking about her makes me giddy.
I lost 5 pounds over the weekend. Am now at 115. Good for now I suppose.
-M
current mood:  flirty
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, February 3rd, 2007
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3:03 am - After
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Reading about some of the world's poverty issues has made me really hate myself.
I have a lots of food, lots of access to food, but I don't want.
Somewhere, a girl just like me is my ideal goal weight, but wants to eat.
It's fucked up. Oh so fucked up.
-M
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, January 11th, 2007
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12:27 am - Sooo
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I weighed in at 118.5 this morning. High, but a big progress from 121. *sigh*
I so want to be back at 105. Desperately. I feel so fucking fat.
Oy.
-M
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, November 10th, 2006
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5:00 pm - Update:
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I'm so very stoned right now.
I've been stoned all day.
It's a lovely feeling.
I weighed in this morning at 121.
121.
1 FUCKING 21.
I'm fat fat fat fat fat fat.
What's happenening to me?
-M
current mood:  blah
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, September 7th, 2006
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11:10 pm - School
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I've been getting fatter. I have a tire around my waist........
I met a kid who just got out of rehab for heroin use. We were comparing rehab stories and blah blah blah, and he just kept going on about how gorgeous I was. It's retarded. I'm fat fat FAT FAT FAT.
I've decided to start bellydancing every day and doing a half hour of pilates. I'm going to be restricting to 500 cals a day. It's a bit high, but I'm in school and I need the energy. Bleh.
I hope everyone is doing well. Now, I have to go study for my biology quiz.
-M.
current mood:  bouncy
current music: Boo.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Thursday, August 24th, 2006
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7:24 pm - So yah....
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School starts tomorrow. Yay!
There's a Y right down the street. YAY!
This means that I can work out everyday after classes. Muahahaha.
Bloop.
My hair still hasn't dried yet. *sigh*
Borrrrinng.
-M.
current mood:  bored
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, July 27th, 2006
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12:40 am - Yeah.
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Friday, July 14th, 2006
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2:33 pm - Ummm..
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Diurex is killing me I think, lol.
It's super hot hotside - very muggy.
I can't wait until school starts - I'm about to go insane.
*sigh*
I'm still stuck at 117. I just...ugh!
I'm so frustrated with myself...
I don't even have the energy to type.
-M.
current mood:  aggravated
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, June 6th, 2006
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9:35 am
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Yesterday was pretty good.
For breakfast I had on egg white (15 cals),10 grapes (40 cals) and a cup of coffee (0 cals).
I skipped lunch.
And for dinner I had a boca patty (70 cals) with a little salsa on it (10 cals) and a pickle (7 cals)
So all in all 133 calories yesterday.
Woot woot.
This morning for breakfast I've had half of a banana and a cup of coffee.
I'll have a couple of soy nuts for lunch.
Vitamin water.
And a soup bowl (70 cals) and a pickle for dinner. Maybe an apple for dessert (to make me...yeah...don't want to get TOO graphic, lol).
As soon as a I drop at least 5 pounds, I'll go and work out for at least two hours this weekend.
I have the strange urge to play tennis.
Hope everyone is doing well :)
-M.
current mood:  awake
current music: Bright Eyes - Let's not shit ourselves (to love and be loved
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, June 2nd, 2006
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12:50 pm - So.
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Today is pay day and I am going to go get some NV.
My current weight is probably between 116-118. My scale broke.
Well fuck.
I haven't quit smoking yet, muahaha.
I'm going to go join a gym this weekend as well.
I have to get down to a size 2.
I wear a fuckin size 4.
FAT ASS.
I'm going insane.
-M.
current mood: bitchy
current music: Sing sing deathhouse - The Distillers
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, May 30th, 2006
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10:28 am - I need to quit smoking.
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It's starting to break out my skin and I really want to do more cardio excercises, so I have to. I have asthma and if I keep on chain smoking, I won't be able to melt off all of this ab flab/thigh flab by running.
So. Instead of smoking, I'll just chew gum until my teeth break off.
-M.
current mood:  determined
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, May 16th, 2006
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12:40 am - Fast starting today.
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Doing a one day fast.
I'll have a piece of kiwi for breakfast to start off my metabolism.
Height and Weight: 5'3, 116.5
Oy.
-Monika
current mood: blah
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, May 11th, 2006
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2:00 pm - ....
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My boyfriend said my thighs/legs jiggle.
He said it was just a joke.
I feel like dying.
-M.
current mood: depressed
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Saturday, April 29th, 2006
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1:50 pm
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Monday, April 10th, 2006
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4:14 pm - Guess who's back...
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So! Update! Nothing much really - I've just started a strict restriction "meal" plan this week...which is good I suppose.
I bought some Relacore and if this doesn't work, I am giving up on diet pills all together becauseeee...
I've gotten so use to using diet pills as an excuse to go and eat over 400 calories a day and it's annoying me. So I figure if I just pretend like they don't exist, I will choose to just starve myself to old fashioned way :).
There we go. Now.......if you excuse me, I have a rice cake with my name all over it (35 cals).
-Monika
current mood:  apathetic
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, March 1st, 2006
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12:07 pm - Never work in fast food.
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So much for control huh? Lol.
So I work at Culvers. And I have been yo-yoing between 118-120 for the past week and it's really starting to piss me off. My plan of action? Find another job!
I've been pestering the manager at Starbucks for a couple of weeks now, so I am determined to land a job there. Even working at a grocery store would be helpful! At least then I could get mad discounts on Red Bull and salads.
Jeeze.
Anyway, I'm going to go to Wal-Mart today and buy some Zantrex-3. Trimspa helped me from binging, but I had to eat something in order to make it work, so no more of that.
Lah dee dah!
Okay, I'm out.
-Monika
P.S. I got my monroe done. Pictures coming soooonn.
current mood: blah
current music: Golden Boy ft Miss Kitten - Rippin' Kitten
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, February 17th, 2006
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10:07 pm - Haha.
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| You scored as Eating Disorders. Congratulations! You have an eating disorder! You know what it's like to have "fat" eyelids and that there's exactly 58 calories in one medium-sized green apple. Western society has discarded your well-being for sickly, paper-thin models and celebrities; welcome to the club, sister.
Eating Disorders | | 83% | Unipolar Depression | | 58% | Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder | | 33% | Borderline Personality Disorder | | 33% | Antisocial Personality Disorder | | 25% | Schizophrenia | | 25% | </td>
Which mental disorder do you have?
created with QuizFarm.com |
current mood: stoned
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, February 11th, 2006
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10:19 am - Trimspa.
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I just bought some trimspa.
It works amazingly.
I have to work today from 12-6.
Got drunk last night.
Weighed in at 119.5 this morning.
19 MORE pounds to go until I hit the blessed 100 mark.
Got a fat paycheck.
Getting pierced today.
Going to buy some blow as well. YEAH! < Lil Jon moment
That is all.
-Monika
current mood:  calm
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, February 6th, 2006
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2:04 am - God.
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I weigh 122.
Fast until Friday, God so help me.
I want to die.
-Monika
current mood: depressed
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(comment on this)
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Monday, January 2nd, 2006
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5:42 pm - Lah...........
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I'm lightheaded.
I need more cigarettes.
I NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS HOUSE BEFORE I KILL EVERYONE IN IT!!!!
My ears hurt too. I got them stretched to 1/2 inch on Christmas eve and the right lobe still fucking hurts. I can't get the spool-plug out either. Meh.
I haven't eaten anything at all today. That's the way I like it.
I'm bored.
-Monika
current mood: cold
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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